It's Only Day 1 of our Fast and I Got Called Out BIG Time

I’m starting this off with an apology.

The apology is really for God, but since the responsibility He’s given me is for your benefit, I suppose the apology is for you too.

There’s a sentiment I often share with my friends when we lament about university deadlines: “Something about the work, it always gets done.” Someway somehow, no matter how intimidating it seems or how long we put it off for, our work is still always done by deadlines (and *usually* done well).

So why can’t I say the same about my blogs?

Most of you probably don’t know this, but I am on a schedule for these posts. This series is a complement to the Bible Recap plan which Skinneeds is following; therefore, each post should ideally come out the day we finish reading the relevant book, or shortly after.

As the year progressed, I made my writing goals weekly. My aim was to write one blog a week, which could then be kept until the relevant time.

I’m realising so many things as I tell you guys this.

First, that I never asked God for His input. That’s standard for me; I approach life with a just-keep-moving-and-God-will-steer-your-course-without-you-asking-Him-about-every-single-decision mindset. There is a Biblical place for such an approach, and maybe I’ll talk about that at some point, but in my case it’s been evidence of my independence of God.

Independence is a quality we generally strive to achieve, so why is that bad?

Let’s do a case study. I’m currently reading 1 Samuel and one thing about David – before he does anything, he gon inquire of the LORD. David was so intimate with God that he simply wouldn’t make a move without consulting Him. He was dependent on God. It’s incredibly admirable and likely part of why David was a man after God’s own heart.

You see, independence may be desirable in other relationships, but the opposite is true with God. As we grow in maturity we grow in dependence on Him, because we realise more and more that He is the source of everything and the One who can best direct our lives. On the other hand, independence is an indication that we think we can handle life just fine by ourselves.

I’m going to pause to reiterate that dependence does not mean you need to consciously hear from God about everything. Paul’s missionary journeys are a perfect example of this. He made decisions and plans with wisdom, which he had from the Spirit of God dwelling in him. Because he was led by that Spirit, God tweaked those plans along the way as necessary (e.g., Acts 16:7). God is not a dictator and gives Christians room to freely decide between good alternatives. But we can rest assured that when specific direction is needed, He will certainly give that too.

Anyway, back to me ;)

As if it wasn’t bad enough that I made plans to do God’s work without consulting Him, I didn’t even stick to those plans. What God explained to me today was that this is the result of a misplacement of priorities and me losing sight of what my life is really about: knowing Christ and making Him known. Everything I do and everywhere He’s placed me is a means to that end.

We should never forget that Jesus commands us to seek His kingdom first, and rest assured that every other thing that we need for our joy to be full will be added to us.  

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

— Jesus, in Matthew 6:33

Btw, I don’t consider it a coincidence that mere hours before God spoke to me about this, I wrote the following words in my prayer journal:

“Today’s goal: be wholly dependent on Yahweh, like David was.”

Join our Inner Community!

The word ‘yes’ is so important. 

Most of the time, when used the right way, it pushes you out of your comfort zone and catapults you into unfamiliar territories. Whether it’s saying yes to eating a meal you’ve never had before or committing to a new relationship, a yes always disrupts normality.

Together, we could embark on a journey that will require the application of three words;

Y - Yielding

E - Eagerness

S - Sacrifice 

When you say yes, what you’re really saying is that you are fully yielded, very eager and ready to sacrifice whatever it takes to see the fruit of what you are committing to.

I mentioned earlier that depth and discipline are the two things we will focus on this year as a community. If you decide to join the inner community, we’ll do this by trying to develop ourselves in four ways;

• Spiritually 

• Personally (wellness)

• Mentally (mental health)

• Financially 

To achieve this, we’ll have monthly development trackers based on the goals we’ll set together soon, monthly level up meetings that will involve different people (mostly my mentors) coming to speak to us about finance, nutrition, wellness, life coaching etc. I’ve set a personal goal to read one book every month this year so you’ll have the choice to get involved in that and full access to all I’ll be learning from the books every month! And of course, as God leads, we’ll also be embarking on lots of prayer and fasting seasons throughout the year. 

There’s a lot that God has in store for us and this is my way of asking you if you’re ready? I hope your answer is yes!

If you’re reading this and you’d like to join the community, please fill out the form below :)

God is Love

I had dinner with a friend of mine last night and we found ourselves reminiscing about our past (substandard) relationships. It made me realise that like most worldly materials, feelings are so fickle. They come and go, yet at that moment in time, it feels as though time has stopped and life is crashing down around you.

I found this poem I wrote scribbled down in one of my notebooks;

Why am I crying?

I need to resist the urge to breakdown

Falling apart is no option for me right now

Love is so beautiful,

I am lucky just to feel it, to live it, to be engulfed in it (almost constantly)

Love is not a crime, its not a harmful tool

It’s an awakening emotion

It goes and it comes

Sometimes it lingers forever,

No matter how little the impact.

I never want to stop being able to love,

Fearfully, wholeheartedly, consuming-ly

But I’m learning that love is almost imprisoning,

It flows with little or no boundaries.

I need to assert logical limitations within my heart, within my love.

To some, the idea of feeling this way because of a guy might seem completely absurd, but I am certain that there are a few out there who understand me. That feeling of blaming your capacity to love for the hardships you’ve experienced in your past relationships. Questioning your heart and blaming yourself for ‘liking them too much’ or ‘showing them too much love’.

Contrary to the title, this blog post has nothing to do with boys and everything to do with love.

I went through the former years of my life trying to embrace my loving heart and give love so generously to everyone around me. I was always the girl who was (too) nice, the girl who couldn’t say no, the girl who wanted to do everything to help the people around me. I was this girl for so long that I forgot what it was like to be loved.

Now, by love, I don’t mean spoilt with gifts, infatuated with, lusted over, etc. No, I mean true love, the kind of love that sacrifices, that isn’t selfish, that looks past one’s physical attributes. I mean love that isn’t demanding, a kind of love that doesn’t take from you and only gives. Love that gives constantly, selflessly, overwhelmingly - The 1st Corinthians 13 kind of love. 

The idea of love was so badly misconstrued within my thoughts that I replaced love with lust time and time again. The truth, I have come to realise is that is you can’t TRULY love someone without knowing, realising and experiencing that God is love.  

I’m writing this post because I want to speak to younger girls, I want them to understand what real love is. God is love and because we are made in his image, the very existence of us exudes love. Do not feel the need to give a part of you to anyone in exchange for what you think is their love.

 True love doesn’t require anything of you but yourself.